The Efforts of Being Kind (Journal #2)

"You don't need a reason to help people."

I think what a lot of people struggle to understand about kindness is that it doesn’t require much effort at all, to be honest. It took me a while, too. Throughout my entire high school experience it had never occurred to be that a simple smile, or a wave of ‘hello’ early in the morning can make someone’s day. I simply thought that to be a good person, to be kind, you have to constantly prove yourself to somebody else. I thought you had to be acknowledged for what you’ve done. That the only way someone could be seen as being a kind person was when other people could see it, too. But that isn’t the case. Not a single bit.

Kindness doesn’t require proof. It does not require anything else, or anybody else, other than yourself. If you are helping somebody, you don’t need them to be a witness of your action. You shouldn’t help them because you know it’s the right thing to do and you want others to see that you’re a good person. Wanting somebody else’s opinion on your action takes away your genuineness. It’s simple—we help others not because it is required of us, but rather because we want to. It is a choice that we make.

Going back to the idea of the effort it takes to be kind, sometimes the effort is even close to none. When you compare your actions to somebody else’s, you lose your true will. Look at it this way, giving a penny to a busker does not make you less kind of a person when compared to someone who gave an entire dollar bill. All that matters is your intention. I have come to realise that the greatest feeling in the world is when you do, or give, things because you genuinely want to. 

So, smile. At your siblings. At your friends. At strangers. And it doesn’t even matter if they don’t smile back. You’re not asking for somebody to return a favour. You’re smiling because you feel good and you want to spread positive energy. Maybe it may seem a bit crazy for you to be the only one smiling in a crowded room. But at the end of the day, people will remember it. Being kind does not mean going all out and helping every single person in the world. It just means taking that extra step to offer a hand. For the past year, I’ve learnt that it’s the small gestures that really makes a difference. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go big, but likewise, simple actions also create a huge impact. I think that’s always important to remember.

But who am I to tell you all this, right? I, just like everybody else, am still learning to find my way through it all. And like everybody else, I have bad days and good days. Here’s what I’ve been remembering, though: You decide how your day ends. And somebody had once told me that the best way to overcome negativity is by being kind. And we can start by offering a smile.